There are lots of reasons why an apology does not work. The most common one is the fact that individuals usually don't know how to apologize correctly. There are thousands of couples that simply end up fighting about the exact same issues and bring up hurt feelings and also transgressions that happened in days gone by. If you go to a save marriage specialist, he/she will let you know that this often happens because the couples do not know the best way to listen to one another and don't feel that that they are actually heard.
Understanding the Ineffective Apology
An ineffective apology is very common. If trust was broken, the spouse who was hurt may believe that an apology is not sincere. Such a thing happens without anyone actually realizing it. It is tough to mend this situation, even if both partners want to work at it. You could imagine that it is even more difficult if you're the only person doing the work. The good thing is that you can do it on your own but you need to know what exactly an ineffective apology is.
We are trained at a young age the way to say sorry. The parents say things that need to be said and we repeat them just like bots. We are led to believing that some words will make all the things right when they're said properly. It is impossible to deny the fact that it is really important to learn how to say such words but when a save marriage problem arises as a result of an ineffective apology, statements are hardly ever enough.
In the back of the child's head, the real reason for being sorry is different than the one that's said. The child is sorry because he is grounded or because he's caught. This is not what sorry implies and it is never something which has to happen in a relationship.
Unsuccessful Apologies in Marriage
There are some topics that are typical to any kind of relationship, and never restricted to a marriage relationship. For example, when money is involved, the spouse may say that he/she is sorry but there's a need to purchase something. Whenever feelings are involved, one spouse may express that he/she is sorry that the partner's feelings got hurt. These types of apologies are usually ineffective because they are not complete. That's why they're not forgiven by the spouse and much more complicated save marriage problems can appear.
Understanding the Effective Apology
The fact is that, we have to tell you that in order for an apology to be effective, Seven parts have to be taken into account. It's a difficult skill to perfect without guidance. We have to advise that you join a specialized counseling program which can teach you this kind of vital relationship skill. The good news is that it is certainly not difficult to see what you are doing wrong and to correct the problem. You simply need help. It is possible to learn and this is what you need to remember all the time. Just follow the tips of the professional and you can save your own marriage.
Understanding the Ineffective Apology
An ineffective apology is very common. If trust was broken, the spouse who was hurt may believe that an apology is not sincere. Such a thing happens without anyone actually realizing it. It is tough to mend this situation, even if both partners want to work at it. You could imagine that it is even more difficult if you're the only person doing the work. The good thing is that you can do it on your own but you need to know what exactly an ineffective apology is.
We are trained at a young age the way to say sorry. The parents say things that need to be said and we repeat them just like bots. We are led to believing that some words will make all the things right when they're said properly. It is impossible to deny the fact that it is really important to learn how to say such words but when a save marriage problem arises as a result of an ineffective apology, statements are hardly ever enough.
In the back of the child's head, the real reason for being sorry is different than the one that's said. The child is sorry because he is grounded or because he's caught. This is not what sorry implies and it is never something which has to happen in a relationship.
Unsuccessful Apologies in Marriage
There are some topics that are typical to any kind of relationship, and never restricted to a marriage relationship. For example, when money is involved, the spouse may say that he/she is sorry but there's a need to purchase something. Whenever feelings are involved, one spouse may express that he/she is sorry that the partner's feelings got hurt. These types of apologies are usually ineffective because they are not complete. That's why they're not forgiven by the spouse and much more complicated save marriage problems can appear.
Understanding the Effective Apology
The fact is that, we have to tell you that in order for an apology to be effective, Seven parts have to be taken into account. It's a difficult skill to perfect without guidance. We have to advise that you join a specialized counseling program which can teach you this kind of vital relationship skill. The good news is that it is certainly not difficult to see what you are doing wrong and to correct the problem. You simply need help. It is possible to learn and this is what you need to remember all the time. Just follow the tips of the professional and you can save your own marriage.
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